All I Ever Wanted
by psychoticateddrebel
Summary: All I ever wanted was a simple way to get over you. Edward left, Bella moved on. AH. Slight OOC. Summary sucks, please read though!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: OK, so I got this new idea today. Not sure where this is all going though, but hopefully you guys will gimme your full support! :P  
Plz REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. SMeyer does.

Prologue

_"You... don't... want me?" I stammered, feeling the ache burning through my soul as my heart shattered. Staring into the cold, lifeless eyes of the Adonis whom I'd called my best friend for practically all my life, and more recently, my boyfriend, I doubled over in pain._

_"No." He stoically replied. Eyes blazingly empty, his beautiful bronze hair glinting in the sun. Even as he took a jackhammer and shattered my heart, he was still beautiful._

_"Well. That changes things then," I whispered, straightening up. He nodded silently, eyes still eerily blank, and then he turned and walked away. Then, the skies opened._

I wish I could say that was the last I saw of Edward Cullen.

But it wasn't.

Throughout the remaining three years of high school, I had to endure the sickening lustful glances shared between him and Tanya Denali, had to smile brilliantly as I pretended to be happy and not care as Alice dragged me about on dates with them, pretending even as deep within, I cringed from the embarrassment of being the odd one out. Of playing gooseberry.

And even as the years passed by, the stitch in my heart never healed, only grew as I watched the boy who had my heart smile at some other girl. A girl who was Aphrodite, who, with her long blond tresses and large blue eyes looked as though she belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine instead of a small, rainy town. But that wasn't the most painful part; seeing Edward happy.

No. The most painful part was in knowing that _they belonged together._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I honestly still have no idea where this is going. I want to make Bella move away, I wanted Tanya to be beyond nice, I wanted Edward to be a jerk, I wanted Bella to be able to move on, but now, I'm not so sure...

Review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter One

I stared absently at myself in the mirror, playing nervously with a strand of my hair as Alice slid a final bobby pin to hold the mortar board in place. I gulped nervously even as the excited chatter of my classmates surrounded me. Graduation.

I couldn't believe it. Three years had passed by just like that. I sighed.

"Cheer up, Bells!" Alice chirped optimistically from my side, "Life can only get better from here!"

And she was right. Sort of.

My eyes locked with startling green orbs, and I stifled a groan that was threatening to spill out from my guts. Biting my lip, I looked down into my hands, where a little slip of paper held words that would leave the legacy of me behind forever.

"Isabella Swan!" Mr. Banner called frantically from the front of the class, I took a deep breath and stood up.

"Yes, sir?" I asked quietly, despite knowing what he was here for.

"C'mon Ms. Swan, the valedictorian has to be up on stage first!" He said, dragging me along by the elbow. I grimaced inwardly and took another steadying breath. Valedictorian.

That was something that I would never understand. How could _I_ be valedictorian? I was a non-event, just your ordinary, small-town, plain jane.

"Alright Ms. Swan, when the Principal introduces you, you will walk up the stage from the left entrance and then proceed to the podium where you will make your speech, then you will exit stage right and take your place with your classmates in the "S" section? Understood?"

Numbly, I nodded.

Mr. Banner mumbled something along the lines of "good, good" and left, probably to usher the rest of my classmates along. The senior class of 2003. I gulped, trying to get air down my lungs, but it was useless. It didn't matter how many breaths I took because there was never any oxygen.

The excited babble of my classmates broke me from my state of numbed nothingness, I looked up and stared at a sea of blue, gold and red and bit my tongue. I watched as the parents filed into the seats situated at the front of the hall, as the families started to fill up the auditorium and I focused solely on the here and the now.

Mr. Dunlop, our principal, walked across the stage towards the podium, and I took a deep breath.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, family and friends, thank you for joining us today to witness the graduation of our Senior Class 2003." A deep sense of fear bubbled within me as I tried to quash it once again. Time moved in mysterious circles, one moment, I was just entering high school, and the next, I was leaving already. I felt a sob threaten to tear out of my body, and closed my eyes to the blinding, glaring light of reality, all to no avail.

"Today, I am proud to welcome the valedictorian of Forks' High School, Senior Class of 2003. She has always been the most exemplary student; kind, compassionate and determined, she is also the daughter of our very own Chief of Police," the crowd laughed weakly at his joke, and I cringed. Next to me, Mrs. Cope signaled that I was to get ready to go on soon. "More than that, she is a fine example of a well-rounded student and she has done the school proud by being the first student in Forks' history to be accepted into the top university in the World. Ladies and Gentlemen, friends, Senior class, I give to you your valedictorian and future Harvard alumni, Isabella Swan."

Thunderous applause assaulted my ears and I felt the burning, traitorous crimson spread across my cheeks as I walked shakily across the stage. I turned once I reached the podium and allowed myself to view the crowd. Big mistake.

It looked as though the whole town had come out to witness this event. My mind blanked for a moment, before my eyes locked involuntarily with _his_. Burning, I tore my eyes away and grinned to the audience.

"Thank you, Mr. Dunlop for such a wonderful introduction," I almost jumped from the way my voice sounded across the auditorium, "I'm afraid I don't deserve such a high honor though," I smiled at him, before turning to face my classmates.

"I can still recall the giddying feeling that accompanied walking through those intimidating double doors, wondering where all of this was going, wondering where Life would take me to. Never in my wildest dreams, did I ever imagine it would lead me to an Ivy League college, or to a world outside of Forks. Many of us have lived our entire lives here, many of us will continue to, some of us will move on to do greater things. There is no doubt in my mind that we will all be whoever we want to be, as long as we put our minds to it." I took another breath, "Life will be changing drastically the moment we toss these ridiculous mortar boards into the air. We will no longer be the graduating senior class, but the graduates. I want to thank all of you sincerely for making my high school experience an unforgettable one. A two minute speech could never encompass the myriad of emotions, joy, love and memories that we've shared. It's hard to let go of something as beautiful as this. It's hard to move on, but Life is a journey that we must all take. The future awaits and Time waits for no man. Cliches aside, I wish you all well to wherever life may take you, be it to California, Alaska or England," I said, pausing as my eyes raked over the faces of my classmates, "I am sure that someday, we will all meet again, maybe in a random coffeehouse, or a bookstore, but as scary as the world seems, as afraid as we are, we will always have the memories of high school to look back on and to laugh about. I feel compelled to end this chapter of our lives with a quote from a wonderful cartoon, Hakuna Matata, it means no worries. No matter where life takes us to, we will always share the same sunsets, so if you should ever feel alone, just glance up and remember that you never are."

I paused again as I drank in the tear stained faces of some of the girls, or the quiet, small smiles of the guys, and I blinked back tears as well. "Someone very wise once told me not to cry, because this isn't goodbye, merely a prolonged absence. These friendships made and memories shared will forever be treasured. So congratulations guys, we did it. This is it. Let's smile and walk towards the future with the same giddying daze that we entered high school with. Thank you."

Thunderous applause guided my way down towards the rest of my classmates, as I threaded my way carefully through the mass of legs towards my seat. Before I knew it, my unplanned life had already started. A mass of black flew into the sky and floated back down towards the Earth again, all with dizzying screams and excited laughter. I grinned for the cameras that Esme and Carlisle flashed, blushed as my father muttered how proud he was of me into my ear, and flushed as my mum made me pose with Alice and Angela.

Another flash, and our hopes were captured within a tiny frame forever. Excitedly, we squealed, bouncing up and down on our toes, screaming at the top of our lungs, giddily excited about the world and the limitless possibilities.

Life was a journey we would embark on, and the world was our canvas, our stage. Leaving Forks was a journey that I was no longer afraid to take, and as I threw my arms casually around the broad shoulders of the green eyed Adonis, I knew that I would be alright wherever life took me to, because my departure date, would close a chapter of my life where I pined over him.

This was the closure I needed and yearned for.

"That speech was beautiful, Bella." He muttered, his velvety voice floating through my ears. I felt the familiar longing start up within my chest and I grinned widely back at him, quashing the need to hear more of his words, telling myself that I only had to hold on a little longer, another day and I would be gone. Away from here, from the memories, away from him.

"Thanks!" I smiled, and he smiled back, a dazzling smile that made my heart thump, that made my soul go weak in the knees, that made me temporarily forget what it was that I had resigned myself to do -which was to forget him- until a flash of a camera blinded me to my dreams and brought me back to reality.

Laughingly, I untangled my limbs from his as Tanya made her way towards us, her parents in tow.

"Hey Tanya!" I grinned, and she grinned back, happily, excitedly.

"Hey Bells!" She exclaimed, before turning to Edward and placing a light peck upon his cheek, and as much as my heart ached I couldn't bring myself to hate her because she was my friend.

And because she was so goddamn nice and perfect in every little way, and I was not and could never be. And so I smiled, and smiled and posed for all the flashing lights, pushing myself on with a single thought in mind.

Leaving Forks.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update with a new chapter. I've been pretty lazy lately. Anyways, here it is. It might be quite some time before the next one comes up. I'm undergoing some personal stuff right now, so sorry! Have fun reading other amazing fics on Fanfic though. There's this one called Maria, and it's just... mindboggling. Yeap.  
Will try to update ASAP k? Please don't give up on this story! (:

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. SMeyer does.  
PBBFT. Has anyone ever realized how funny SMeyer sounds.

Chapter Two

The rains weren't washing away the sadness or the anger or the tears. The heavens weren't wide open, well, they were, they just weren't weeping. The sun was shining golden, and the lush trees were sparkling diamonds, shimmering dew. I stood on the porch staring out at the backyard I wouldn't see for a long, long time.

"Honey?" Mum's soft voice rang out from behind me, "you ready to go?"

Turning around, I smiled softly, "Yea, I think I am."

A broken sob tore through her, as she hugged me, crying over and over, "my baby," I wanted to stop the flow of tears, wanted to assure her that everything would be alright, but how could I, when I wasn't sure myself?

"Renee, let go," Dad sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder, I looked up into the large brown eyes of my father and smiled gratefully, sadly, and something deep within me started to mend.

"Good luck kiddo, you'll do great." He mumbled, looking to the left, I knew he was hiding his tears, not wanting me to see him cry. I walked forward and wrapped my arms around my father, holding on for a long, long time.

"Bye, daddy." I finally whispered and turned to walk away.

I couldn't look back, it would've been too hard to leave if I did. I got into my truck, a beautiful Chevy that belonged to my uncle Billy, and I drove away into a future where becoming a lawyer was top of my agenda. I tried not to think about how much my life was changing with each breath that I took, but I couldn't. The landscape that blurred past me was making it hard to look forward, and I kept wanting to look back, to just turn around and embrace a past in which I was so comfortable in, broken, but still comfortable.

I tried not to imagine not having Alice by my side constantly, tried to imagine what life would be like without Mike hounding me, without being able to discuss classics with Angela, without Jessica constantly gossiping in my ear. Most of all, I tried hard to not imagine not seeing Edward's beautiful face everyday.

Halfway down the highway out of Forks, I couldn't stand the silence any longer- the quiet scared me. It was screaming the truth. With a trembling hand, I reached forward and twisted the dial on the ancient Chevy. The radio roared to life, and out blared the soothing lyrics of some unknown artist. I didn't remember which radio station I landed on, just that the lyrics grabbed my attention, and I couldn't turn away. _"People are people and sometimes we change our minds, but it's killing me to see you go after all this time..."_

The tears never started. For that, I was grateful. It seemed the further away from Forks I got, the more my heart seemed to mend, and the easier it was to let go of the hauntingly beautiful face of Edward Cullen. Once upon a time, I had thought it impossible to forget him, impossible to move on. Now, I was finding that maybe, I was wrong. The world was large. Impossibly so. Somewhere out there, I would find another Edward; one that belonged to me. The past was a broken record that could no longer, should no longer be played, and I was the second fiddle who was finally coming up solo.

The future would be bright. I had to believe in that. Without that, everything else would fail. Nothing else would matter. I had to believe that there was a place, a nirvana that I would someday arrive in, where my heart would be whole once again, and the smiles I put upon my face would be real. I had to place my faith in that, because if even that should fall to pieces, than I too, would cease to exist.

Signs blurred, flashing lights flew by, and the road stretched on: endless.

Fields of gold blurred past me, and the rain slowly gave way to sunshine.


	4. AN: sorry!

Hey guys! I'm so sorry I haven't been updating this story so much. Yea, yea, I know it's been ages. But I really can't seem to find the enthusiasm to write much these days. I'm getting really caught up in IB- the school year's coming to a close soon in a couple more months, and along with that, my Junior year, so I've gotta be really focused cause I've just found out that I need to apply for college by November this year, so I'm freaking out majorly, as well as bumming out over the fact that I have to take SATs as well if I want to get into UCLA.

Cue the dramatic sighs.

So I know I'm like spewing out my life story here at the moment, and whining about it too, which I majorly detest, but anyway, I'm really sorry you guys. I'll update as soon as I finally get off my lazy ass to write a new chapter! In the meantime, I've been updating some chapters on my mac, just not uploading them on FF. I've been thinking that instead of uploading chapter by chapter, I'd actually finish a story first before uploading it so you guys don't have to wait so much/long.

So yea, ultimately, this means that All I Ever Wanted and Back Home are on hiatus indefinitely, sorry you guys! And thanks so much for all the support! (:

Oh oh guys! But since I feel bad, here's a little sumt'n sumt'n.  
So recently, I was sleeping over at my friend's house and we were watching the Twilight DVD (YES HA! I HAVE IT) and we were on to the scene where Edward is sparkling and then he says "I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill."

So then my friend's brother immediately starts snorting and laughing like crazy, and he went "Oh yea. Oh my god. I'm the world's most dangerous predator! Let me kill you with my sparkling disco-ball-light-ness. Oh look at me! Be blinded by my sparkling-ness! I AM THE DREADED DISCO BALL! FEAR ME! RUN AWAY! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BY SPARKLING AND DAZZLING YOU TILL YOU'RE BLIND AND TRIP AND FALL OVER THE HILL.. muahahahahahaha. FEAR ME CAUSE I'M SPARKLING AND PRETTY."

I died laughing. XD


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